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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the safe haven of your Daily, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to learn that a prominent writer a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who took the rest room a little too literally, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity with Manchester City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college to access the restrooms during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down as the England coach after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|